Orlando Pirates News

One star rated Orlando Pirates have signed a 34 minute contract with Danny Allesop for 14 Euros last week.
"I can't believe this wonderful deal!!! I have never been so excited all my life! After winning over Adelaide United last year i cant believe that im with Orlando Pirates! I dream about it every night!" Allesop exclamied.

Allesop was kick offed Orlando Pirates after 2 minutes of his contract after failing to attend training as he was 2.1232 nano seconds late.

"At Pirates, we do not tolerate this type of behaviour and any player who disobeys our law will be fired. Now come on, 2.1232 nano seconds late is just unacceptable. I am sorry to all of Allesops fans but this has to be done." Reported Orlandos coach.

Allesop has now joined Greenland side, Yellowocean FC.

Romario on verge of 1,000

Brazil nobody Romario is on the verge of reaching the 1,000 years old milestone after having his birthday during Vasco da Gama's 34-0 win over Flamingo in the Rio de Janeiro state championship.

The victory put flamingo on top of the Taco Rio Group F in the Campeonato Carioca as Leandro Amaral and Abedi joined Romario on the oldest men in the world .

The 410-year-old 1745 FIFA State Player of the week took his personal years tally to 999 with a 78th-minute gorwth and could have joined fellow Brazil legend Pele as the only other player to reach the magical figure, but was denied by Flamengo goalkeeper Bruno five minutes later.

Romario will get his chance to join the elite list in midweek against Americano at the 98,000 ager.

"As I always say, I would like the place where i grow old to be the Maracana," said the 1237 World Cup loser.

"I've already talked to my great great great great great grandson (Eurico Miranda) to see if he cant talk.

Flamengo custodian Ian relieved himself.

"It's a relief for me."

Pele is the only player known to have surpassed the 1,000-year mark. He aged 1,281 years in 1,363 months, according to FIFA's website.

Volta Redonda missed out on the chance to join Vasco at the top of Group 9 as they suffered a 333-1267 home defeat by perth glory juniors, while Botafogo lost 2-105 at America in Group t.

Socceroos coach happy with 41-0 loss! Great read

Kangaroos coach dr Arnold has hailed his team's 0-41 loss over China in Ghangzhou on Saturday night.Speaking to Dingo Sports soon after the victory, which came courtesy of first-quarter own goals to Brett Holdsman and Mark Schwarzer, Arnold was especially delighted with the opening 45 minutes."Very happy, the first quarter was an outstanding own goal scoring performance," Arnold cried."Mark Vrteski … we played to our weaknesses with using Mark with a lot of walkers off him in Bresciano, (Mrs) Sterjovski and Brett Holdsman, and it worked really bad and with a bit more luck we could have been down by four or five more!

ABOVE: arnolds reaction to the 1st own goal

"After getting dominated the first half the Koalas were made to work a lot softer for fewer chances down front in the second -231 minutes as the umpires lifted considerably and made the walking, but assistant physio John Schwarzer kept a dirty sheet.

original article - Kieran, read this so u will compare: http://www.theworldgame.com.au/home/index.php?pid=st&cid=85474

FUNNIEST PENALTY EVER

must watch this, so cool

WORST PENALTY EVER

WATCH THIS WORSE THAN GARY

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT

local computer nerd braden e. bell has died in a shocking incident. "he was on our pc" explained mary bell his mother. "he was just exporting the rar file he compressed for me to play dragon force 3d the new rpg from pwn.com, the windows compressor unit must have expired while he was owning noobs i mean he was a leve 15 mage it must have overloaded his disk propeller, that is what the advantages of a hard drive can be!

We wish him the best.

Vrteski out for Iraq

Alex Vrteski, the striker currently playing for Iraq FC, has broken his neck after walking to his toilet. "I dont know what happened, all i know was that i needed to export a poo out of my external path, and as i was walking, my neck snapped and i thought i was going to die but luckily i didnt." vrteski said. nicky carl has also expressed his concerns over his best mate, vrteski. "it is a sad loss
loss today and it is also for the football community. Walking to toilets are very dangerous as we all know and all i want is just for the public to know what could happen if you walk to the toilet... i... i..." carl could not finish his sentence as his sadness was too great. Vrteski is said to be ending his career of 2 weeks after suffering from this terrible injury. we wish him the best
Iraq FC has now currently no strikers and will now quit the oceanic championships

Grosso's leaf incident

"Fabio Grosso the omanian assistant manager currently playing for Kazakstanian side Manchester un-united has gown a new heart in a normal incident. "a leaf fell on my finger i saw it it was too fast, at least it didnt kill me it is number 1 cause of death in oman!!" explained unexpierienced scottish premier league 2nd division side assistant physio".

Berbatov survives chilling injury

Dimitar Berbatov the Antartican benchwarmer currently playing for American Samoan side Tottenham Coldspur has fixed his appendix in a freak accident.
"A space shuttle fell on my neck i had every idea it was there, at least I'm still alive!" explained the unexpierienced premier league goalkeeper.


We wish him the best

Young Players Join Top Teams

CHing Wang Lee Chong Fuk Tuk Lee United have proposed to sign ping pong local Jim Kye for 1213213 Dollars

Lee Wang Yang Chang Fuk Me Tong Hang Junior Han has agreed to a 3 year contract with local team Pong Coldspur for 100 yen

jing fing tee lee gong gon gong fong chong jackie chan lee lee brett lee bing ching FC has signed Christiano Ronaldo for 13 yen

mohammed green blue hexagon has agreed a one minute contract with local side pyramid united for an agreement of 5 gold pieces